The LMLonghairs humorous collection of the things in life that give longhaired people stress and other problems like split ends…

Lets face it: split ends happen on long hair (but WAY LESS on OUR Longhairs clients!!!).

Read on to see what can be problems for the longhaired; stressors like these can cause split ends, breakie bits, & cracked shafts – the ways your hair tries to reshape itself when an unnatural ‘little’ trim line traumatizes it.

Here is the LMLonghairs growing list of (aka a Cynic’s list of)…

THE THINGS IN LIFE THAT GIVE YOU SPLIT ENDS And More

• Life. (apparently hair grows faster just after you die)
• Shoulder bags, buckles, knots in straps, and rope handles
• Knapsacks and packsacks (pull hair in front first)
• Rubber bands (you already know that one)
• Rubber flaps on revolving doors (say no more)
• Trimming blunt too often at shoulder length
• Updrafts (watch the updraft in revolving doors, one of those hair-hazards ready to happen!)
• Products that supposedly seal up split ends with silicone/plastic temporarily (they continue to crack inside the coating)
• Silicone ‘smoother-serums’ and sun, Silicone ‘smoother-serums’ and salt-water, Silicone ‘smoother-serums’ and sweating, Silicone ‘smoother-serums’ and you (hiding split ends and strand discrepancies never helped the problem – don’t feed that addiction)
• Beads on anything
• Gum, lolipops, taffy, eating ones own hair spaghetti, sticky sauces 
• Dirty hair (any bachelor worth his salt knows dirty socks get holes and wear out faster than always-clean ones – that’s a given, provided that you don’t launder your socks in battery-acid)
• Wind
• Wet Hair Freezing
• Velcro rollers (taking them out, but then… you do ‘have’ to, don’t you?)
• Wooden combs and rough plastic ones
• Wooden and pronged brushes, common rubber padded brushes
• Cats chewing your hair’s ends while you sleep, or when it’s wet
• Any pets or humans chewing your ends, asleep or awake
• Say “No” to twisting, pulling, and rolling your ends while you think or study. Try gentle ‘painting actions’ absentmindedly over your skin/face with the last inch or so – is beneficial and a better habit (and much better for you than eating chips absentmindedly when you study!)
• Working over solvent fumes
• Painting, refinishing
• Swimming in chlorinated pools
• Poor scalp circulation (well, you should be wary of stimulating your scalp if you have used and do use silicone/petrolatum based products in or on your hair – especially don’t use natural and/or essential oils with those silicone/petrolatum based products!)
• Tight or thin scalp skin (sensitivity and flaking is a warning of this)
• Brushing too fast or with one hand – go S L O W L Y.
• Flicking hair with pens, clips, or with ringed fingers
• Hair flapping out car windows, sunroofs, or convertibles (and if you use silicone products, they can magnify sun’s bad rays)
• A simple blunt bottom or hairdressers U-line CAUSES hair to break to try to correct itself. Too fresh a hard line cut causes twisting, too often it gets you into the all-too-familiar ‘6-week-salon-rut’. These bad habits, plus usual wear and tear cause a domino effect.
• Using silicon-ey products, then using blow dryers on high heat. If you don’t use those kinds of products, or use our products, then blow drier warm setting is beneficial. Our clients can safely blow dry their hair in minutes, like a dream!!
• Backs of most chairs and bus seats (recommended: lay your hair on you, in front of you)
• Ponytails tied once (recommended: tie 2 or 3 times 2″ apart)
• Sandy wind and salty wind (very abrasive)
• Sleeping with hair tied on top of head (makes L folds at the roots only to break later)
• Sleeping with hair loose
• Sleeping with hair in centre-back braid
• Double breasted overcoat and blazer buttons
• Hooded or hoodie sweatshirts
• Outerwear with hoods
• Residual type ingredients in some hair care products and and incorrect oils that attract dust and grit (this dries it out)
• Dreads on caucasion hair
• Letting hair dry while twisted in a towel
• Vacuuming
• Hot clothes dryers
  
• Indoor grills, toasters
• Children
  
• Not washing your hair enough to provide true moisture in Louise Marie Longhairs’ line
• Not lathering enough times (one to move dirt, a second to remove dirt, etc. etc. – see our proper usage for best results page 1  and proper usage for best results page 2 for using our very specially formulated shampoos)
• Not having our custom-made Kinder Brush (Kinder removes abrasive drying, dust, and lint)
• Worrying tenses up the scalp causing lack of suspension in roots
• Certain body PHs get more splits, tend to be eczemic, etc. (ask Louise Marie Longhairs)
• Not enough #13 Bliss Tips oil
• Certain clothing draws oils and moisture from your hair
• Not priming (pre-treating) the ponytail tip at night
• Not tying correctly at night
• Not monitoring what your hair really needs and how often
• Do-all drugstore and trendy salon goop
• Smoking carelessly, or woodstoves
• Badly angled scissors (ask Louise Marie for split end snippers)
• Neglecting your one-split-at-a-time removal (every night a section)
• Too much salon trimming
• Sliding hair-tie elastics out in one swoop
• Brushing upside down
• Combing hair in order to dry it
• Not detangling thoroughly after washing
• Not washing that man right outta your hair!
• Incomplete hair regimen, skipping steps
• Applying previous brands theories to new Louise Marie Longhairs Products
  
• Un-Louise Marie Longhairs trims (better none at all)
• Not enough sleep (you may need Silica/Silicea in the wholistic and naturopathic salts from Louise Marie Longhairs)
• Exams, presentations, meetings, due-dates, and year-ends
• Being on the bottom while you’re both on top of your hair !!!!